Ode to the Whores

By: Husaria-Cake

This is the blunt response to Miss Griffth at Penn State:

This is to the "nice" girl who I talked to at the bar last week and even bought a drink for, but ditched me for the first frat boy douchebag that came along

This is to the "nice" girl whose computer I fixed, with whom I spent endless hours on AIM trying to figure out what her problem was, eventually fixing it and you couldn't even say "thank you"

This is to the "nice" girl whom I showed how to use Direct Connect, and won't even share.

This is to the "nice" girl who I took out on several dates and then tells me, "I just want to be friends", then next week is with all lovey lovey with a total fucking stranger

This is to the "nice" girl who decides to sleep with my friends while still dating me

This is to the "nice" girl who comes between friends

This is to the "nice" girl, who says she will call me, but never does, and then comes up with the lamest excuses like, oh my phone charger died, and my internet was down

This is to the "nice" girl who says she doesn't have time for a relationship, yet she's out every weekend getting drunk and sucking ten dicks a week.

This is to the "nice" girl who listens to her dumb cunt friends and can't think for herself

This is to the "nice" girl who took me from my friends and made me do her bidding before I came to my senses

This is to the "nice" girl who gave my friend a nervous breakdown and made him leave school

This is to the "nice" girl who said she wanted to be a virgin til marriage, but broke up with me and fucked two guys at the same time last week

This is to the "nice" girl who goes crazy when I'm talking to another girl

This is to the "nice" girl who says she has a boyfriend AFTER I take her home and have sex with her

This is to the "nice" girl who only goes for the assholes, but bitch because their boyfriend is an asshole

This is to the "nice" girl who practically jerks me off under the table during the date, but won't put out at home

This is to the "nice" girl who bitches because I want to be with the guys even though I've spent almost the entire week with her, and conversely, gets mad at me when I want to spend time with the boys, but its ok for her and her girls to go out

This is to the "nice" girl who had the choice between the good and bad guy and went with the bad guy, and then got played by the bad guy

This is to the "nice" girl who helped contribute to the genre of emo music, God I fucking hate you

This is to the "nice" girl who dresses like a whore in freezing weather and then proceeds to bitch that all the guys are starting at her, you're dressed like a whore, expect to be stared at like one

This is to the "nice" girl who called me last weekend knowing I would be drunk and horny, to ask me to sleep with her, but just wanted to sleep, fucking bitch, I'm not here to be your teddy bear

This is to the "nice" girl who gave me half a blowjob, now you know why I didn't call you back, whore

This is to the "nice" girl who put her career ahead of me, I hope you enjoy being miserable in corporate America

This is to the "nice" girl who met my mom and then ripped my heart out, my mom thought you were a cunt and warned me about you

This is to the "nice" girl who I had to put a restraining order on, listen hun, when you just walk into my apartment and are sitting on my chair just staring at me, I'm gonna freak out a little

This is to the "nice" girl who said she was a born again Christian, but suddenly got pregnant and got an abortion, remember, abortion kills children

This is to the "nice" girl who let me know I was cheating on me on Valentine's Day after I got her a ring, flowers and a dinner at a five star restaurant.

This is to the "nice" girl who I slept with but then told everyone I raped her

This is to the "nice" girl who tells me she's late or pregnant, but really isn't

This is to the "nice" girl who comes to me bitching about her boyfriend

This is to the "nice" girl who brought the fat chick who cockblocked me, bitch

This is to the "nice" girl who just start an argument because they want to

This is to the "nice" girl who start fights over the littlest fucking shit

This is to the "nice" girl who insists on going home from the party when we just got there

This is to the "nice" girl who likes being a cocktease but never puts out

This is to the "nice" girl who gets mad because she wants it her way

This is to the "nice" girl who plays all pretty and innocent; we all know you're a whore

This is to the "nice" girl who complains about how her boyfriend sucks, but treats him like shit

This is to the "nice" girl who complains her boyfriend didn't get her enough for that special holiday, when he broke the bank trying to make her happy

This is to the "nice" girl who has the constant need to be the center of attention

This is to the "nice" girl who practically makes you marry her before you even get to kiss her

This is to the "nice" girl who thinks she deserves more, we aren't a buffet

This is to the "nice" girl who gave me a fake number

This is to the "nice" girl who rants and rave that chocolate solves all their problems, it only makes you fat

This is to the "nice" girl who prides herself on having a fat ass, its disgusting

This is to the "nice" girl who wears spandex, that gut makes you really attractive, that is if I had beer goggles

This is to the "nice" girl who grabbed my ass but then got mad when I grabbed hers

This is to the "nice" girl who made me choose between her and my friends

This is to the "nice" girl who insisted I make the decision on what to do tonight, but then got mad when I did

This is to the "nice" girl who says I'm selfish in the bedroom, yet doesn't do blowjobs

This is to the "nice" girl who made me feel guilty just because I was born a man, as if I was responsible for her gender being repressed for the past thousand years

This is to the "nice" girl who can't realize it’s over

This is to the "nice" girl who thinks that her best friends know all about relationships after a nice sleepover, there's a reason why all those girls are at a sleepover, because they don't have boyfriends, and why don't they have boyfriends? Because their take on a relationship prevents them from having a boyfriend.

This goes out to the "nice" girl who stays with her abusive boyfriend but gets mad at me when I try to defend her

This goes out to the "nice" girl I took to prom that ditched me for the star quarterback

This goes out to the "nice" girl who wants a guy with manners and whatnot but hate it when they are treated like princesses.

This goes out to the "nice" girl who expects me to be a king in bed, a master chef, a billionaire, as handsome as a Hollywood star

This goes out to the "nice" girl who judges me on the car I drive or the money I make

This goes out to the "nice" girl who expected me to get her a diamond ring, do you know that most diamonds are "blood" diamonds, meaning they fund wars, congrats, the terrorists have won, go put on a burqua.

This goes out to the "nice" girl who got mad at the pornos she found on my computer, but yet got mad when I found her dildo

This goes out to the "nice" girl who expects me to eat her out, but won't give me a blowjob

This goes out to the "nice" girl who left me for that rich lawyer, yet wants the house I bought, the cars I bought and sole custody of the children we made

This goes out to the "nice" girl who cheated on my friend while he was fighting for our freedom in Afghanistan

This goes out to the "nice" girl who led me on

This is to the "nice" girl who ditched me at prom

This is to the "nice" girl who flipped out because I didn't respond to her IM right away

This is to the “nice” girl who claimed I wasn’t clear enough when I blantantly stated the obvious

This is to the “nice” girl who claims she did nothing wrong when she ignored me, yet got upset when I called her out on it

This goes out to all the "nice" girls: fuck you

This is to the nice girl, oh shit, you don't exist

Notes/Disclaimers/Supplementals:

08.08.2005

New comments

06.19.2005:

I guess this has to be said: If you are going to retransmit this webpage in any way, you must include the URL of this page AND my name and email as listed above as the Author, as Mr. Douvartzidis from Drexel University had to find out the hard way. Please be considerate.

05.10.2005:

Well, people still are finding my rant, thanks to CollegeHumor, I got about 28,000 hits in one week. Now its down to about 30 a day. Better than what I had before. This rant came at a price: the woman that I love. I’m sorry Princess, but it had to be said, if its meant to be, then its meant to be.

04.09.2005:

Miss Griffth was the supposed author of Ode to the Nice Guys at the time I read it, but a quick Google search turns up several authors

Some of these things actually happened to me, some of them to my friends or people I know but all of these events have happened.

And this is more of a response to the women that complain about nice guys but then act like total bitches.

Thanks tfor the hotlink.

Questions, comments:

husaria@gmail.com